Wedding Thank You Note Etiquette

After you return from your honeymoon, you face one more daunting wedding task: writing thank you notes. Etiquette states that you should send these out within two months of your wedding, but I recommend you do it sooner, while you are still in wedding mode. Make a list of gifts as you open them, and then pick an evening or two to sit down with your husband with a bottle of wine. Split up the list and get writing. The notes can be short, but try to make them as personal as you can.

Recommended resources:

• How to Write a Wedding Thank You Note
• Custom cards and stamps from Zazzle
• Thank you note cards from Wedding Paper Divas
• Books on wedding etiquette

Read our other posts on wedding etiquette by clicking here.

How to Plan a Green Wedding on eHow

Be sure to check out my latest article on eHow, "How to Plan a Green Wedding." It's got lots of great tips on ways to make your wedding more eco-friendly.

You can also find some great green wedding books at the Perfect Memories Wedding Store, and find more information on green weddings throughout the site.


You might also be interested in:
Eco-Friendly Wedding Favors from Beau-coup.

Personalized Wedding Resources

Every wedding should be as unique as the couple getting married. Be sure to put your personal touch on your wedding day by creating a brand, offering unique food and drink or choosing meaningful music.

Recommended resources:

• How to Plan a Personalized Wedding
• Custom wedding invitations from Wedding Paper Divas
• Personalized cards, stamps and more from Zazzle
• Favors from Beau Coup
• Wedding accessories from The Knot Wedding Shop
  

Keep wedding costs in perspective

Friday's New York Times featured an article on "party peer pressure" and the rising costs of celebrations including weddings and bat/bar mitzvahs, written by Alina Tugend. It's a good read if you're trying to plan a wedding on a budget or feel like your wedding costs are spiraling out of control.

Some things I found interesting from the article:

• Ever notice how when something is for a wedding, it suddenly costs so much more? According to the article, the trend of marketing and price mark-up for weddings began during the Great Depression--go figure. Marketers in the 1930s pushed the idea that "love knows no Depression" on brides and began offering wedding sections in department stores.

• One of the over-the-top events the author points to was actually an infamous Titanic-themed bat mitzvah in Pittsburgh. Western Pennsylvania isn't exactly known for high-end celebrations like New York and L.A., and this bash in 1998 made national headlines and even inspired a movie.

• You don't want to look back at your wedding and think "Why did we spend so much money on one day?" Jean Chatzky suggests thinking about your budget in terms of how many days you'd have to work to make that much money. It will definitely put wedding costs in perspective.

You might be interested in:
Amazing Wedding Planning: Save up to 80 percent of your wedding budget!

Having trouble paring down the guest list?

One of the major struggles many couples have when planning their wedding is deciding who to invite--and more importantly, who not to invite. While many of us would love to be able to invite everyone we know, budget and space constraints usually make that impossible.

Add in the fact that the bride, groom and two sets of parents (possibly more) each have their own ideas about who should be on the guest list and the chance for controversy is pretty high. Earlier this month, CNN published a story with a solution for sorting this out: a ten-question quiz.

Guests who would score 60 percent or higher receive an invitation. 50 percent or below don't make the cut. Those in the 50-60 percent range are delegated to the "B List."

I think a quiz like this is a good idea for families struggling with the invitation list, but the questions may not be right for everyone. Try to come up with your own list of questions that make sense for you situation.

Answer all of your wedding etiquette & tradition questions with books from the Perfect Memories Wedding Store.

A guide to wedding registries

CNN and MyHomeIdeas had a great article with seven things to avoid when registering for wedding gifts. Picking out items for your married life can easily become overwhelming and stressful for a potential bride and groom. Keep these tips in mind to make the process easy.

Check out the seven registry don'ts from the article below, with my additional advice to make registering for gifts a breeze:

1. "Don't overthink the process." And don't feel like you have to make every decision on your first visit to the store. You can always take things off and add things on a future visit, or make changes online (which most stores will let you do). It's also a good idea to revisit the registry after your bridal shower to make any additions or changes before the big day.
   
   
2. "Don't forget about the groom." This one's different for every couple. Some grooms (like my husband) want to be there picking things out too, and others won't give you their opinion if you drag it out of them. At least be sure to ask you fiance to participate in selection, and if he doesn't want to, try to keep his tastes in mind when you pick things out.
   
   
3. "But...don't go it alone." This is a great tip. If your fiance does not want to come, bring along a relative or friend who does. You'll be holding a scanner, a checklist, your purse, etc. while navigating a potentially crowded store. It can get tiring, plus it's helpful to have someone to share opinions about your choices.
   
   
4. "Don't register at every store under the sun." Personally, I think two or three registries are a good number. If you have guests around the country, try to make at least one of those choices a national chain (or at least one that has an online shopping option). If you want to include something like a honeymoon registry, consider also registering at a traditional store for at least a few items for your more traditional guests.
   
   
5. "Don't be afraid to work the system." Many stores offer up front benefits for registering, but they may not tell you about all of the possible deals out there (like registering for a certain set of pans and getting a free saucepan). Don't be afraid to ask!
   
   
6. "Don't keep the gifts you really don't want or need." My advice here is "don't register for them." If your mom is insisting that you need to register for 12 place settings of fine china, and you know you won't use it, then don't put it on your registry. Of course, you may change your mind about things, so feel free to edit the registry or return gifts. Plus, you may get some things you didn't register for...if you don't want it, you should definitely return it!
   
   
7. "Don't return gifts one at a time." First, be sure to find out the return policies of stores where you register. Some places will take items on your registry back without a receipt, others may require a gift receipt and/or a return within a certain number of days. Definitely try to consolidate your trips to make returns, but make sure you're within any required timeframes.
   

Advice for young flower girls

CNN.com has a great article on how to avoid flower girl meltdown. Check it out for some tips on dealing with the youngest members of your bridal party.
My advice when it comes to young flower girls and ring bearers is to not have any expectations, especially with little ones under the age of five. Be prepared for the fact that they may not make it down the aisle or may have a fit of shyness or throw a temper tantrum. But no matter what they do, your guests will oooh and aaah at them for the cute and adorable kids that they are.

Young attendants do not always lead to issues, just the possibility of them. I recently coordinated a wedding with three flower girls and one ring bearer, all under the age of five (plus an eight-year-old ring bearer). The youngest flower girl was not even two yet, and for the couple of hours before the ceremony, was very fussy and crying, especially after her dress was on. The bride had pretty much decided that this little one wouldn't be making the walk down the aisle, but when the ceremony started, all five children made it down the aisle (and back), to the cheers of all of the guests.

News Roundup: A look at wedding trends

As I was browsing some online articles from the last month or so, I noticed a lot of stories dealing with trends. Whether promoting them or refuting them, these articles give a look at what's hot now in wedding ideas, as well as examine some more social trends in weddings. Here are a few stories to check out:

• What's hot in weddings--and what's not
• Research, reflection will help you take all the trends in stride
• Hottest trend in weddings is going green
  
• White wedding dresses are losing their taboo for pregnant brides
  

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Inviting kids to the wedding: Ideas and advice

In our recent poll, 69 percent of you said that you're inviting kids to the wedding. Tomorrow we'll talk about what to do if you've decided not to have kids, but today let's talk about what you can do if you're inviting them.

Choosing to invite children is certainly the less controversial decision. But there are some things you can do to make sure that kids--and the guests around them--have a great time at your wedding.

Food
First things first: Ask your caterer if they can offer a kid-friendly meal selection for your pint-sized guests. You'll need to give them a headcount on the number of kids attending, as well as your total guests, and you'll need to decide what age to cut off the kids meals at (kids under 12 may be a good rule of thumb). If you're offering a meal choice on your RSVP card, you can add that selection here. Bonus: caterers will usually charge you a lot less for the chicken strips than for the filet mignon.

If you're comfortable with it, seat all of the kids together at a table. Most of them will enjoy sitting with people their own age instead of the adults. I would suggest making sure their parents' tables are nearby so they still have some adult supervision.

Entertainment
Kids can get unruly when they get bored, so give them something to do! Set up a table at your reception and lay out coloring books and crayons for them to play with. You can purchase inexpensive activity books here, or even download and print wedding versions for free here. You can even lay out blank paper and ask them to draw a picture for you...you'll get a lot of cute pictures at the end of the night!

Also consider a special favor just for the kids--something that they can play with during the reception. If you have room in your budget, you can put together goodie bags for each youngster.

Babysitting
If your budget allows and you're worried about either misbehaving kids or parents leaving early because of their little ones, you can hire a babysitter to entertain them in a separate room on location. This certainly isn't a necessity, but something to consider. Stock the room with toys and kid-friendly treats, and maybe some blankets and pillows in case anyone gets tired.

The Unexpected
Nine times out of ten, children will behave (almost) perfectly at weddings and will add joy and entertainment to your big day. Some of my favorite memories from my own wedding are of our youngest guests on the dance floor--they were adorable and having so much fun.

But kids can increase the chance of something unexpected happening: a temper tantrum during dinner, crying during the ceremony, accidentally walking in front of a photogenic moment. Children certainly aren't the only cause of unexpected moments during weddings, but you need to be aware that things can happen. Remember to stay calm and relaxed if something does happen--even smile and laugh it off if you can. If you stay calm, the parents and guests will too, and the moment will quickly pass by.

Have a good or bad "kids at the wedding" story to share? Comment below!

Click here to read our story on not inviting kids to the wedding.

Please don't let your wedding drive you crazy

In preparation for the rainy day all of us here in Western Pa. can look forward to tomorrow, I surfed YouTube for some laughs to share. So enjoy this old commercial:



Please, please, please do not go crazy over your invitations...or your flowers, your hair, your attire or any other detail of your wedding day. You just may end up in the insane asylum. . .or in the news for suing your vendors for the damage they have caused.

Check out Mrs. Corn's post today on Weddingbee about how she freaked out about the weather during her rehearsal. . .and how wonderful the wedding turned out. Yeah for her sister and in-laws for calming her down and putting it into perspective.

I know we get caught up in all of the details and effort that go into making weddings such special affairs, but remember that what really makes weddings special is the love of a new wife and husband. Things will go wrong (at my own wedding, the officiant mispronounced our last name--twice), but they will not matter. You will be married, and that in itself is absolute perfection.