Brides get thrown into a world of etiquette when planning their wedding, but who hasn't wished that guests had to take their own crash course as well? Weddingbee's Miss Chickadee led me to this article, which lists ten of the biggest mistakes guests makes. Here's my take on those mistakes:
- Not sending RSVPs: Yes, yes and yes. My biggest complaint when I planned my own wedding. Send the darn card back--the bride & groom have provided you with a lovely self-addressed stamped envelope.
- Sending RSVPs with extra guests: If your name or "and guest" is not on the card, you're not invited. Couples choose their guest list based on their budget, their space and the feel of the evening.
- Bombarding the bride with phone calls and questions: This is more of a collective issue than an individual one. A guest making one or two phone calls is not bombarding. It's just a fact that lots of guests may call to ask the same question. Guests, try a family member or a bridal attendant first if it's a question the bride doesn't need to answer.
- Buying a non-registry gift: This can be good and bad. Don't feel bad about buying from the registry; the couple picked items they actually want! However, if you know the couple well and pick a heartfelt gift that you know they will really like, then go for it.
- Showing up late: Well, it happens. Just don't draw attention to yourself when you slip in, and don't complain about the ceremony starting without you as these guests did (scroll down to the third story from the bottom).
- Bringing a big, heavy gift: I've also read that it's bad etiquette to bring any gift to the wedding, that you should have it shipped to the bride and groom. Personally, I've never been to any wedding where the majority of guests didn't bring their gifts along. But if your gift would be awkward for someone to carry, it's definitely smart to have it shipped.
- Giving unexpected toasts: This faux pas should read "giving drunken, inappropriate toasts." Some couples choose to invite anyone who wants to make a toast to do so. You should make sure your DJ or whoever's in charge of the mike keeps control.
- Requesting songs: Um, really? I don't think there's anything wrong with guests requesting songs. You want your guests to dance, and they're more likely to do so if the band or DJ plays songs that they like. It's up to the bride and groom to make sure the band or DJ knows what they don't want played.
- Drinking too much: Certainly. Guests can make fools of themselves by taking too much advantage of that open bar. Remember, not only will you be drawing attention away from the focus of the evening, you'll also be caught on film.
- Crashing your wedding: Well, if you're crashing a wedding, then you're not a guest. Humorous movies aside, obviously this a breach of etiquette.
I really do think a lot of guests are completely oblivious to these etiquette rules, a lot of which are just common sense. This list doesn't even cover some other big ones, like wearing white to a wedding or not sending a gift (even if you're unable to attend). Or, as Saundra at planning...forever pointed out in her guest rant about a week ago, RSVPing and then not showing up at all.
Anyone got any guest horror stories to share? Did someone violate one of these rules or something else completely different?